The start of a new school year is swiftly approaching. If you are a parent of a child on the Autism Spectrum this can be a stressful time for your child and for you, especially if your student is transitioning into a new classroom or school. The move from elementary to middle school, or middle to high school, can be a big one. In our case, my son who is starting 11th grade and is in a class for more severely affected students, will be at the same school and classroom, but will have a new teacher. His wonderful teacher for the last 2 years has retired and many of his classmates have moved on to the adult program. A new teacher means a new way of doing things, new schedules, etc. My son, like many individuals on the autism spectrum, thrives on sameness. He loves schedules and loves knowing how his day will go. He memorized the schedule and it gave him a lot of comfort. Over the years, I discovered that transitions like this cause him a lot of anxiety and fear. This fear of the unknown can lead to meltdowns, in some cases, and cause a chain reaction of difficult behaviors. There were times he would refuse to get on the bus because of his anxiety toward change, and this would lead to more meltdowns at home as well. It’s our job as parents to alleviate as much of this stress as possible and there are some things we can do before the school year begins.
The “eyes” have it… ASD kids are often very visual learners, so creating a social story about the new school and new teacher can be very helpful. There are many free tools online that you can access to make a social story, or you can ask his previous teacher for help with this. It can be extremely beneficial to go over this social story with your student before the last school year ends and the new one begins. Again, visual tools like social stories will often alleviate more stress in your student than just orally preparing your child. If your child is transitioning to a new campus, make arrangements prior to the very first day for you and your child to tour the school and new classroom, and contact the new teacher for a meeting. Ask the teacher for a daily schedule and to walk through it with your child. You can ask the new teacher to guide your child through the room, showing him/her where his cubby is or where his backpack hook is located, where the restrooms are, computer station, etc. Walk the campus with the schedule and social story in hand to show him where the gym is, cafeteria, multi-purpose room/auditorium, the office and nurse’s station, even ask to meet the principal and regular office staff, and cafeteria staff if available. In addition, if your child has speech, occupational therapy, or APE at school, see if it is possible to visit those new staff members. Making new faces a little more familiar can help. If at all possible or necessary, you may want to be available to be at school the first day or two if you have a more severely affected child or if your child has had difficulty with transitions in the past.
The bus… If your child is riding the bus, be sure to meet the driver on the first day. I have to meet new drivers and inform them of things that may set my child off. For example, my son can buckle his own belt and does not need the driver to do it for him. He could start the day with a meltdown if someone tries to help him with that. Some kids may have a particular seat or place on the bus where they may prefer or need to sit. Some kids do not like to be touched. These are all things a driver should be made aware of. If you’ve made arrangements for your student to have a bus aide, try to set up a meet and greet beforehand. Not all bus drivers have experience with ASD kids. And as they say: if you’ve met one autistic child, you’ve met ONE autistic child. Each child has different needs, different triggers, behaviors, likes and dislikes. YOU are their voice and you play a huge role in their school success.
The little things… Well, they are not always so little for our kids. On the first day, let your child wear their favorite color, favorite shirt or shoes, etc. New clothes or even a new backpack may add to their stress. No one will judge you if your kid isn’t decked out in all the new finery on the first day. They should be comfortable and often comfort is found in things they wore the year before. If your child needs chewies or a stim item, don’t forget them.
Communication is the key… Be sure the teacher has your phone number. Yes, you wrote it down on those many forms in their registration packet, but you should write it down on a separate piece of paper and, if you can, personally hand it to the teacher. I go one step further and write a list of the do’s and don’ts for my son. For example, my son loves roller coaster videos, music and reading. He does not like to be touched or for anyone to get in his face, and he does not respond well to the use of negative language to correct a non-preferred behavior. These are things his new teacher and classroom staff should know in advance to avoid anxiety-induced behaviors. Never assume the staff will just KNOW what to do. It’s all about creating a safer learning environment for your child and everyone involved. Also, bring a copy of your child’s current IEP to the teacher. It will likely be on file, but a hard copy you can discuss together can be very beneficial to start the year. You have a lot of power to make your child’s day successful, so use it.
Cafeteria concerns… If your child eats school breakfasts or lunches, get the cafeteria calendar in advance. Your child may have allergies the teacher needs to be aware of as well, and although you noted that on the 158 registration forms you filled out, you need to personally make the teacher and staff aware. There may be days you will need to pack a lunch because of food allergies or because your child will not eat what’s on the menu. You may need to pack snacks, too. If possible, offer to purchase some snacks the whole class can share. Teachers often spend their own money on snacks and supplies, so if you can help you will make a teacher happy, as well as your child.
Not all parents communicate enough with teachers. Understand that the new teacher has a classroom of students with different wants, needs, likes, dislikes, skills, deficits, triggers, IEPs, etc. Anything you can do to help staff know who your child is in advance makes a big difference. You can take away the guessing game with just a little work on your part, because no one knows your child better than you do. My son is not very verbal so I have to be his voice. Even if your child can communicate, you still need to prepare their new teacher for their new student. Good teachers really appreciate this. You are not only helping the new staff, you are helping your child be the most successful they can be. You are a big piece of the puzzle; preparing the teacher and preparing your child in advance for the new school year, especially if there’s a big transition, means less fear and anxiety for your student. The night before the first day, make sure your child gets a good night’s sleep. Also helpful is starting the school year’s morning routine a week or more in advance of the first day. If the bus is set to arrive at 7:00 am, then prepare your student by getting up in plenty of time, even though school hasn’t started yet. Shower, get dressed, have breakfast, as if they are going to school that day. Doing this will make the first day morning routine less of a shock after having a less scheduled out summer. Also, be sure to regularly check in with the teacher once the new year begins. Some teachers will send home daily or weekly progress reports or notes to parents. You can also ask to communicate through district email or other options. If your student is having a hard time, find out why and find out what you can do to alleviate the problem. Again, you know your child best and you can help make a big transition a lot less stressful. Cheers to a new and successful school year!
Linda Lemke Heinz is the mother of an amazing 16 year old with severe ASD, and private music educator to kids and adults on the autism spectrum.
