If you grew up playing sports then at one time or another, you experienced the infamous long car ride home with your parents after a bad outing. You desire to simply sit quietly and sulk by yourself the whole car ride home. However, the minute you get in the car, your mom or dad begins to ask you what happened out there.
Parents all have different styles of parenting. They all have different approaches when talking with their children, and some parents are stricter than others. One thing that all parents do have in common is that they all want the best for their children. Seeing a child fail is hard. Seeing them sad after working so hard in practice all week is as tough for parents as it is for the child actually experiencing it. How parents approach their child after a bad game can be crucial in terms of their relationship with their children as well as the child’s relationship toward the sport itself.
It is important to remember that every child is different. What might be a perfect response for one child, might not always be the best for another. Some children like to talk about what happened after a bad game and others don’t. For me, I usually did not like to talk. My dad got pretty good at picking up on how I was feeling and he would let me initiate the conversation. If I began to talk about the game, he would be honest with me and he would offer me advice or encouragement. If I was sulking and quiet however, he would usually let me just sit there in silence for a while. Which to be honest, was exactly what I needed at the time.
Approaching your child after a bad game is about trial and error. If they are already extremely hard on themselves, perhaps lecturing them on everything they need to do better isn’t the best solution. What is said to them may dictate their drive to continue playing the sport. If you’re a parent with a child playing competitive sports, take time to learn what approach works best for your child. How can you best convey to your child that failure is a part of life and that they need to keep working hard and try again next game?
