Recently, I was leaving the grocery store and heading to my car when I heard my name being called from a distance. As I turned around, I saw a young man heading toward me. At first, I did not recognize him, but that is not unusual because I have been a counselor to thousands of students over these last eighteen years. As we got closer, I was able to identify him. It was Anthony. Anthony is a young man I have known since he was in elementary school. He was tall, thin, very thin, and now he had an aura of vulnerability where there had once been an ambiance of confidence. Anthony told me that he had just been laid off from his job, his car was not working, he was renting a room, and not attending college. At an early age one could see Anthony’s brilliance and his goodness. His one struggle was that his mom had cancer. She had been fighting it his whole life. Tragically, she lost her battle when he was in high school. As we talked, I was profoundly struck by how this young man, who held and still holds so much promise is lost, lost at sea. He is like a ship with no navigation system, no compass, and no anchor to stop him when needed. I put his new number in my phone, told him that my daughter was coming home from school in a week and that I would be sure to give her his new number. They are friends. I hugged Anthony, thanked him for calling out to me, gave him some money for food, and told him that I would be in touch. Once I was in my car, I broke down. In fact, I did not drive until I could compose myself, and it got me thinking…about my children and yours.
Normally, when I write, I am calling all of us to our very best selves. I am reminding us of the highest standard of parents that we can aspire to and I am reminding us to strive to be at that level so that all of our children will flourish as a result of our stellar parenting and be the amazing people they have been created to be.
Nevertheless, as we embark on this new year, I am asking something different of you and me. Instead, I am exhorting you to take a moment, a long moment, to stop and thank yourself for the parent that you are to your children. Acknowledge all that you have done and sacrificed for them. Honor yourself for all of the reminding, encouraging, helping, nagging, and yelling (yes, yelling) you have done in order to keep your children on the right path. And remember, they would not be who they are and where they are without you. Great job!
