Anxiety is the fastest growing mental health condition among American children and teens ranging in ages 6-17. In fact, it is running circles around depression. When I began my career in education, I occasionally had students who experienced feeling “nervous” around times that naturally lent themselves to being more stressful than usual, i.e. taking quizzes, tests, or giving classroom presentations. There was nothing out of the ordinary regarding students’ heightened levels of responsiveness and given the circumstances, the feelings were completely warranted.
However, things have changed. Gone are the days when students only feel stressed when classes are demanding increased performance. May I present to you the one word, the single word that I believe sums up the growing phenomenon of 21st century youth, “overwhelmed.”
In fact, the word is not reserved for rare occasions in an effort for it to make an impact. No, just the opposite. Overwhelmed has become an everyday word, a regular part of students’ and parents’ vernacular. I would venture to say it is the word that brings students to their school counselors on a daily basis all over the country.
As an educator, I have had endless conversations with teachers and fellow counselors regarding how frequently we hear this word from our students. Here are a few common sample statements we are presented with in our offices.
“Well, I couldn’t get my work done because the whole assignment overwhelmed me.”
“I am failing my classes because I am so overwhelmed. The work is too much and I don’t get it.”
“Can you please email my teachers for me? I haven’t been able to focus on my school work because we are having problems at home and I’m overwhelmed.”
“I’m late to school in the morning because my stomach gives me trouble in the morning because I’m so overwhelmed with my classes, sports, and my youth group. It’s too overwhelming and I don’t know what to do. No one understands.”
Naturally, caring and concerned adults want to know what is the cause of this rise in anxiety so we can start to fix it. Many experts in the medical field are weighing in on anxiety and at this time, no expert can tell us exactly why anxiety among our youth is getting worse. However, here are a few interesting perspectives and possible contributing factors to the continuing increase of anxiety:
1. Social media – Children are on sites like Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and Twitter. They are putting themselves out there to be liked, hearted, followed, shared, tweeted, retweeted, etc. By virtue of where they are developmentally, young people are too vulnerable to be at the hands of fellow teens’ whims, moods, jealousies, highs, and lows. Protect them.
2. School Lockdown Drills – Children of all ages are participating in lockdown drills in preparation to keep everyone alive in the event of a school shooter. On those days, be very cognitive. Use logic and reason to assure your child that they are safe and will remain safe.
3. Health Care Access – A parent’s inability to access quality health care when their child is sick can raise the child’s fear and anxiety.
4. A Child’s Home, School, and Community Environment- If in any of these settings a child has experience(s) that cause them to feel unsafe or even in danger, anxiety can ensue. Make sure your home is a safe place and if necessary, respectfully advocate for your child through school and community leaders.
5. Pressures to Achieve Academically, Socially, and Financially (in the future) – Remind your child that you love them for who they are and not their achievements. Their worth is in “being” not “doing.”
6. Parents’ Unexpressed Anxiety – This is not frequently talked about because it is such a sensitive subject. However, I want to remind you that children can feel or sense the emotions of their parent(s) (even if the parent is not talking about it). Get help. Begin by reading a book about stress and anxiety. When parents begin to acknowledge and deal with their own anxiety, their child’s anxiety may dramatically decrease.
7. Parents with High Levels of Agitation and Anger – Work on your short fuse, temper, anger, rage, or violence. If you need to seek help, do. Do it for your children if you are not motivated to do it for yourself.
Of course, there are some common sense strategies that I want to briefly mention due to the fact that when we employ them, these tactics help all of us lead an improved quality of life. They are making sure our children eat right, get enough sleep, learn how to breathe deep relaxing breaths, count to ten, pray or meditate, and are able to talk about their feelings without fear of retribution. All of these practices make for healthier, calmer, more centered people.
There is one last point I want to make that I believe is critical in our search for helping our children find inner peace. It comes from Dr. Martin Seligman, a psychiatrist, who presented in his book, The Optimistic Child, a strong case how our children can guard against depression and anxiety. His research concluded that the number one character trait we can help our children build, that fights against the anxiety giant is courage. If we are going to defeat this giant, we must fortify our children with courage. How? Start small. Start with baby steps and positive self-talk. Acknowledge and celebrate the small victories. Then build on that foundation. Over time you and your child will see the success that only courage can bring and the defeat of an anxious giant, that was not nearly as big and scary as we thought.
