The eyerolls are strong with this one! Listen, this isn’t a bash on your current parenting techniques. Although peaceful parenting contrasts traditional parenting, you still get to choose your approach. Just give this a quick read and a chance. You may be able to adopt a few techniques that can benefit both you and your child in unexpected ways.
Punishment and rewards are great short term, but to avoid the situations leading up to the requirement of punishment/reward scenario, there are a few peaceful parenting tips to make things easier on you, your wee one and everyone else around you. These techniques can help establish relationships based on trust and mutual respect, foster cooperation and self-discipline in children…as opposed to fear-based obedience. They can bring about a positive, long lasting change in your child.
Peaceful parenting is NOT permissive parenting, which falls along the lines of being neglectful or over-indulgent with your little one. Being unable or unwilling to hold limits compromises the child’s development of emotional adaptation.
The “Peace” in peaceful parenting comes from YOU. You need to own their strong feelings to avoid escalation and model how to manage emotions. It is NOT easy. It is very, VERY hard. Parenting without punishment is essential when supporting the child to make choices from a place of integrity and self-responsibility rather than fear of disapproval or desire for reward. YOU are the parent – the adult – and you should know better. Your little nugget is LEARNING everything from you. Start by modelling through your responses to your child. When they act out, there are underlying needs that drive that behavior, and as the parent, it is your job to meet those needs in order to avoid that behavior in the future. Connection, care and warmth are the biggest contributing factors towards a child’s behavior. Take at least 15 minutes a day to connect with Junior, to explain situations, feelings and “ask” for cooperation, offer support, EMPATHIZE, set limits and teach reparations. Don’t force an apology but teach when one may be necessary and why. Most importantly, know and understand there will be lots of emotions and expect a few setbacks. Don’t let that deter you from your main objective.
This is beyond making sure they have snacks and a clean, dry diaper and sleep. This is for all that’s in between. You can do it Mom, Dad, Grannies and Nannies!
