During the toddler years, children learn a lot about getting along with others—and develop their first friendships. Toddlers practice sharing toys, being gentle, and using words to express their wants and needs. Practice leads to improvement, but meltdowns and tantrums are still very much a normal and frequent part of toddlerhood.
Being a gracious guest is not yet in your two-year-old’s wheelhouse, but you’ve just received a birthday party invitation. With some preparation and compassion, you can help your two-year-old understand what to expect and give both of you the best possible chance of enjoying the party. Just try to remember: your toddler has little experience with giving gifts and believes everything is “MINE!”
Tell your child what usually happens at birthday parties. Toddlers love to sing “Happy Birthday to You” so consider practicing the song a few times. Maybe have a pretend birthday party for your child’s stuffed animals. Eat pretend cake, wrap up some toys and allow your child to unwrap them!
Two-year-olds have recently realized they can make choices, and they are eager to practice. For most toddlers, making a choice is almost magical. Allow them to choose from two acceptable alternatives rather than a “yes or no” option. Instead of, “Do you want a piece of cake?” try asking, “Do you want this piece of cake, or that one?”
If gifts are to be opened at the party, make sure you prepare for this too. Explain what will happen to the presents at the party. Make sure they understand the birthday child will open all of the gifts and keep them. All of them. Even the one you brought. This will not be obvious to your toddler. This will be difficult for a typical two-year-old to accept; talking about it in advance will help. The prospect of more fun with unwrapping toys at home after the party may help too.
Try to leave the party on a positive note. Many toddlers are not able to handle more than an hour or so of socializing. Eventually, your toddler will be ready to leave. Ideally, you will be heading out the door at that very instant. Lacking that precision, you’ll want to be sure you’re gone before your child is in full tantrum mode. Don’t worry if your timing is off or if you need to leave early. Your little angel will have plenty of opportunities to practice being a gracious guest in the future.
